I am a female and have been on antidepressants for about six years. 40 mgs of citalopram. I have ran numerous anabolic compounds. I feel better when im on than I do when im off. a few things i would suggest:
make sure your var is legit. if its cut with something like dbol, you are likely going to get more amplified side effects like aggression and irritabilty.
be sure to taper your dose down SLOWLY when coming off. coming off too quick when you already deal with depression will send you into a dark place.
dont listen do these guys telling you to "fix your mental issues" because some people need antidepressants for the rest of their lives and there's nothing wrong with that.